Humility, even with face book.

These last few years have been exhausting on my soul as a mother. When we start to raise our children I believe that most mothers feel that they want their children's lives to be better than there own. They want them to make better choices and not experience the pain or mistake we did  along the way.  When they make choices that do not lead them to this result, we tend to blame our selves and wonder what we did wrong, How could I have failed so badly? Mother's are their own worst enemies.

At some point we have to understand that no matter what we teach them, or how much we love them they are going to do things differently than you and maybe even make the same mistakes. Some of those mistake may not be as harmful as the ones you made and others may even be worse. Our children have freedom of choice, just as we did and do. Once we understand that and accept that, it can open a whole new can of worms. 

The can filled with worms for me is dealing with children who have chose to shut me out of their lives in ways that hurt my soul. I have children blocking me from face book, in fear they will disappoint me or just do not want to deal with anything I may say about their post. When your children grown up and make decisions that they know you will not approve of they tend to hide in the holes of any and all social media. In fear of the comment or comments they may have to face later. After all it is our job to teach them right from wrong. 

Lets take three different children;

Daughter 1; This  daughter who blocks you from face book, but still wants you to pay for her open house when she is sealed in the Temple? Her first wedding you found out about two days prior and had to beg just to make her a bouquet and bring had her making rash decisions that hurt her family  drinks and cheesecake to the little gathering. She didn't really care if her family was there. She only invited a couple friends and her fiance's family. Why?  She had a tantrum is the best explanation and her pride had her making rash decisions that hurt her parents and siblings more than she even knows. However now she is in your life every other way. We talk regularly and forgive each other often for other things that happen between us, so it is important she is still blocking you from face book? 

Son number 1; This son has had a hard life. He has done things to your spouse and things to your other children, that many parents may not be able ever get past. There are several justified parents that have had to cut children out of their lives for similar situations. With this child believing any change in him had to be witnessed and even testified of the Holy Spirit to know he has changed. Forgiving him from a far has been the substance of our recent existence.Sometimes you need to forgive, so you're able to move forward with life. You  go on loving him from a far, until such spiritual testament can happen. And yes he too had many people blocked from face book.

Daughter 2; What do you do as a mother with another child who wants your financial support in a upcoming wedding, that will not only cost you several hundred dollars, but also travel cost for family and even her father, who I am not married too? And  yes, she too has you blocked from face book. At least she will talk to me on the phone. We have come along way over the last year. At one point she wouldn't talk to me over 9 months because she was making serious life changing choices that she  new were killing my heart. She chose to shut me out and make me feel like I was the problem. as a parent you were probably not perfect and made mistakes. She has accepted the fact that she has made her own bad choices and I believe she understands that you love her no matter what she does, even when her choices are very disappointing. She has not chosen to change anything that she does to please me, and that is okay. After all it is her life and I can not make all her choices for her. She knows I am not happy with everything she does, but but you did not make her choices for her.e can still talk about it with out her getting as defense as she would have before. You know she may not choose to do anything you would like to see her do and you will love her no matter what. But she is still blocking you from face book.

Daughter 3; Wow this one is complicated. She has only been your daughter for the last 13 years from a second marriage. You were there for her, every step of the way. Her first real heart ache as a teen, Her first marriage, her first child, who you adore with all your heart. You were there for her through her divorce, yet she chose to become more and more distant from you and her father as soon as the papers were signed. Visits became less and less. Excuses and no shows to family events. Not being invited to your grand daughters birthday or other events. Finding out about things you should know because you are her parents, through other friends and ward members. Imagine only seeing your grand daughter who lives in the same town as you only 3 times in a year and two of those times were at Christmas. This daughter ignores phone calls, text, only calls when she has to too, and makes you feel the like the most unimportant person in her life.  On top of all that, if you ever ask her why, or confront her on a rumor or even wonder what the true story is, she freaks out and says she does not want to deal with the drama. The only drama you see is the drama she is creating. She has made you out to be the bad guy with so many people in her life, I have no idea what to think any more. And yet here I sit on the day of her wedding with a huge task of of humility. 

So what do you do?

Son.

Choose to believe that when he finally reaches out to you, even through another being, have hope enough to want to see it for yourself. Going in faith and hope is the first step to getting any spritual confirmation that yes, there has been a change of heart. You can feel it and know it to be true. Things may not ever be perfect in your relationship, but you can finally go on not only living by forgiveness form afar but by real remorse and repentence. Taking that first step in being there for this kind of child is all you can do. However when it is confirmed that all is well, and things have changed you can finally move on be apart of their life agian in pure presence and not just from afar. And for every parent, with a simular situation, this is a load off the soul. 

Daughter 1.  I grin and bare it and be there for her anyway she will let you. She is making great choices and although is not perfect, she will have my love and support no matter what. This matter will resolve it self everytime. Pride may be an issue once n a while but is quickly corrected and swallowed. As it should be. Most relationships our a tug a war of forgiveness on a regular basis. 

Daughter 2.  If I can do it for the first can I do the same for this one? YES I have to deal with her bad choices and still be there to support her any way I can be or that she will let me. 

We may not ever like her choices, but she is still in our lives as much as she can be. and we have to do the same. Being there to support the moments that are important to her are worth  the cost and disapointment you may find on the other side. 

Daughter 3. I could do the same for her as well, but the hard part is ,I am doing it with no apolgies, no remorce for the pain she has casued and still can not get the truth form her over anything. I am constantly forgiving her for meaness, that I do not know why is even happening. She wont talk to me about it, or even admit that she is doing it. Forgiving someone that doesn't even care that she is hurting you at all, is the hardest thing of all. And yet I do it all the time. I voice my frustration with myself, and with my husband because I am not even allowed to voice it with her. With this daughter, I am going to be attending a wedding I do not feel welcome at, starred down by several people who have been lied to about me and I do not even know why. I am attending a wedding where the rest of the family is invited to a reception dinner that she tried extremely hard to hide from me and her father. She has made several excuses and claim on the matter but we both know that she has told several people she does not want us there, yet she tells her father, she does want us there and gives us minumal details of anything.  I could go on about the dirty details of the actions and events that lead us to this feeling, but I will not, it changes nothing. The worst part about the whole situation,is if we chose not to go becasue we  that is feel that is she wants, she will use it agianst us in any way she can. She will  say we didn't care enough to come, and use it as an excuse to justify all her actions prior to the event at hand. That is what she has learned to do.

  The fact is we as parents still have to swollow our proud, be made out to be the bad buy, the worst mother in the world and more, all because we still love her and want to be there for her.  She may have eveyone around us asking why are we even there, but the truth is they do not know the truth. She is not the victim nor does she have to be.  YOU have to be there, no matter what even when she makes you feel so hated.  Being there for your children when you know of anything of importance,  is the biggest challenge of all, especially when the details of the whole event are being hid form you. If they are even sharin ga little part of it, you have to go with what you know and just be there. Shut out all the other details and knowledge you have of the whole sistuation and grin annd bare it because you love her. If you do anything else you become as bad as the acts towards you in the first. place. 

Humilty is so much more than than being humble when you do something worng. It also has much to do with be forgiving in situations you may never be given any explaination for at all. And perhaps by attending that event you do not feel welcome at, will even soften her. heart.  You swallow your pride and go. If you love your child or children you go! It really is that simple.

When I think of Christ attonemnt, and the suffering he went through as he bled a hundred drops of blood for each of us, it had to take great humility.  He paid for our sins so that we can choose to repent.  He did not do it only for those who use it regulary. he did it for all of God;s children.  He did it for those that even may choose never to attone for their sins. As parents we too have to do things for all our children wether they choose the right or not.  Humiliy dose not always have to end in humilation. Humilty is also grace. It is also forgiveness. It is also part of repentance. Humility leads to change that is positive.  Sometimes you may even be in a sistuation wher eyou are humilating in the negative way that most people relate it too, but those feelings can also lead to greatness just by enduring through it.

For example that 3rd daughter who put you in a humiliating situation, chose to change it. At the last moment she had her mother tell her father to come to the dinner. We had to make another desicion, do we go and bare through what we just expereinced, or not attend and go about our plans. We chose humilty and went. When we got there she had us sit by her. It was nice to be near her. She did not apoligise in the words "I am sorry for eveerything" She simply put her arms around us and said she loved us and insisted we sit next to her. Through out the dinner we as parents still had to deal with theheart ache of seeing your children make choices you do not live. There were even three other children not mentioned above that were present, all who brings their own concerns to a parents heart. With them humility will still be my best teacher.

 Remember, with humilty you can endure anything, even being blocked form face book.

Why Pay Tithing?

Often in life I have had conversations with people who have asked me the question, " Why Pay tithing?"

 They ask in all different ways, such as;

1. Why would you want to give your money away to make a church rich?

2. Why don't you just give money to a regular charity where it can help the community and not just your church?

3. If you believe in tithing then why don't you hand out money to everyone holding up signs on the corner. 

4. I have been interested in your church before but there is no way I would give my money away, especially not 10 %. 

5. Tithing is only a Mormon thing. It is a made up law.

These and other comments arise form time to time and I hope to give some understanding into our law of Tithing. 

In 3 Nephi Chapter 24 it reads. 

8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say:Where in have we

robbed thee? In ^atithes and ^bofferings.

 9 Ye are cursed with a curse, for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.

You may ask yourself from reading this first verse, How are you robbing God?  Well simply put, we believe that all things in this world that of good, are from God. We are blessed with our homes, food, clothing, jobs, and much much more because of Him and the guidance he gives each of us in life. All that we have is a blessing form the Lord and our Father in Heaven. He asks only 10% in return and then more in fast offerings.  If we are not giving back to him we are truly robbing him. 

 10 Bring ye all the ^atithes into the storehouse, that theremay be ^bmeat in my 

house; and prove me now here with,saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open you

the^c windows of heaven, and pour you out a ^dblessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

This verse reflects on what we do with the money and where is goes. Our tithing goes back to the building of his kingdom. We do not have paid ministers, and paid teachers in our church. All that we do is by calling and is giving of our time back to the service of Christ. However church buildings and our temples, cost money and have bills that come with it. Our tithing is used for this purpose and anything we give to tithing is given back to us in fold through out his church and people. Our fast offerings go to those in need. If you have not hear of the Bishops Storehouse, it is a place where members can go and get help with food or clothing and other things that they may need, when they can not do this for themselves. We all have trials and Tuff times and we have set a ways for every member to receive help. Our fast offerings also go to those in need of rent or housing. We also have the opportunity to pay into mission funds and other budgets or projects. The opportunities to give are endless. 

We are not making our church rich, we are growing the Church of Christ and building up his kingdom so that all who are within are cared for. 

To answer the question,  "Why don't you just give money to a regular charity where it can help the community and not just your church?" The is no law that says we can not give to local charities. We do! Many people give of there time and money to other organizations. We are true believers in helping our community in anyway we can and the church its self also uses out tithes and offerings to rescue you many in need. There have been several crisis in our country and other countries where we have been the first to give aide, we just do not brag about it on the news. 

When seeing those holding up signs on the corners, it is true we do not know know there circumstances and can not judge anyone doing that.  I personally do not hand out money to every sign holder I see, simply because I am not prompted to do so. If I was prompted by the Spirit to give I would, and I have.  When we give through fast and offering we know it is being used to help those in need. we do not have to wonder or question the motives in holding up a sign. There are so many ways in getting help and aide, that there really is no need to hold up a sign, unless in rare circumstances. When I see them, I do not judge them, but I choose to give in other ways. There have been times when I have given food or assistance with broken down cars and so many other things, but again I do it by my promptings of the Holy Ghost. 

Some look at tithing as a huge sacrifice. It may feel like that at times, but when you understand and have faith in the law it, becomes a part of every day life, and the only sacrifice should be when we choose to give generous fast offerings. We should be giving generously to those who are without. And sometimes it can be a strain to do so, but the rewards are great. The joy is great and the blessing that come from giving are endless. Our father in heaven will always have a way for his saints to be taken care of, so when we are able we should give generously and often because one day it will come back to us when perhaps we are in need, or in other blessing. When we give we are blessed with opportunity  and more abundance. Just like it reads. 

the^c windows of heaven, and pour you out a ^dblessing that there shall not be room enough to receive it. 

We are blessed in many ways. It could be financially, opportunities, blessing of aide when we need it, Spiritual growth, and much more. 

So tithing is a Mormon thing? No it is not. Do not other churches send around offering plates? Is it not taught in the Bible to give in order to care for the people and build up his church. There are over 25 verses in the Old Testament alone that taught about tithing.  For example her a few great ones. 

• Deuteronomy 26:12

  12 ¶When thou hast made an end of tithing all the tithes of thine increase the third year, which is the year of tithing, and hast given it unto the Levite, the stranger, the fatherless, and the widow, that they may eat within thy gates, and be filled;

• Nehemiah 10:38

  38 And the priest the son of Aaron shall be with the Levites, when the Levites take tithes: and the Levites shall bring up the tithe of the tithes unto the house of our God, to the chambers, into the treasure house.

• Nehemiah 13:12

  12 Then brought all Judah the tithe of the corn and the new wine and the oil unto the treasuries.

• Deuteronomy 14:22

  22 Thou shalt truly tithe all the increase of thy seed, that the field bringeth forth year by year.

• Leviticus 27:32

  32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, even of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the Lord.
• In the new testament you have many as well.  
• Matthew 23:23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. 
• Luke 18:12  I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
• Luke 11:42 But woe unto you, Pharisees! for ye tithe mint and rue and all manner of herbs, and pass over judgment and the love of God: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
• There are several more in in Hebrews. This is not a new concept. Christ made it a law to follow. And now we follow it all the time and not just in times of need for others. When we follow the law every month and always we are consistently preparing for times of need, we are always building his kingdom and always prepared. We are also always blessed. This does not mean we will not experience hardship or trail, but is it not reassuring to know that when bad times happen there are others prepared to give of them selves to help you? 
• My testimony of tithing is great. I truly know it is a law of God and have seen great things, and blessing from obeying this law. I am so grateful to have a safe haven to given unto my tithes too, and know it is being used for the greater good of all man. 
• And a little 'FYI', pick up a few non-religious financial books. Notice that many of them talk of those who give to Charity do so much better with their money in investments etc than those who do not. There are studies of people who make the same amount of money and have equal assets, yet those who give of them selves are always in a more stable situation than those who do not. The law of attraction is real, no matter how you see it, spiritually or some cosmic force. 

The B Attitudes.

The Sermon on the Mount  was a historical event in the New Testament. It was the first time that the "B"  Attitudes were taught by Christ. It was our Modern day Prophet, Gordan B Hinkley that summed them up into a list that could be easily defined. The are as follows.  

1. Be grateful. 
2. Be smart. 
3. Be clean.
4. Be true.
5. Be humble. 
6. Be prayerful.    

Mathew Chapter 5 is where is is first taught in person, with the Law of Moses. 

 1 And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain:and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:

 2 And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,

 3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

 5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

 6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

 7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

 8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

 9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called thechildren of God.

 10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against youfalsely, for my sake.

And then even after Christ was crucified and he came to the Nephites to the Promise land, he taught them again, and then he also went further to change the practices of how things were written, like for example; an eye for and eye a tooth of a tooth. Mercy became part of the new law. He clarified on matter of adultery and forgiveness. He truly did make all things new when he came. The Law of Moses was for filled and yet also change, added too, and yet there are still things to come that have been prophesied that are yet to be seen. 

In 3 Nephi Chapter 12 it reads as follows, 

2 And again, more blessed are they who shall believe inyour words because that ye shall 

testify that ye have seenme, and that ye know that I am. Yea, blessed are they who shall

 believe in your words, and come down into thedepths of humility and be baptized, for they shall bevisited with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and shall receive a remission of their sins.

 3 Yea, blessed are the poor in spirit who come unto me,for theirs is the kingdom of 

heaven.

 4 And again, blessed are all they that mourn, for theyshall be comforted.

 5 And blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

 6 And blessed are all they who do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be 

filled with the HolyGhost.

 7 And blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

 8 And blessed are all the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

 9 And blessed are all the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children 

of God.

 10 And blessed are all they who are persecuted for my name’s sake, for theirs is 

the kingdom of heaven.

 11 And blessed are ye when men shall revile you and persecute, and shall say all manner 

of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Christ also clarified on matter of adultery and forgiveness. He truly did make all things new when he came. The Law of Moses was for filled and yet also change, added too, and yet there are still things to come that have been prophesied that are yet to be seen.  As I ponder these scriptures it helps me understand the Old Testament a more. I would always read verses of punishment and the way things were dealt with, and it all felt so harsh to me. But I understand now that the Law of Moses was different before Christ Came. The customs were done differently and the Mercy was not the same like it was after he came. Because Christ had atoned for our sins and was sacrificed so that we too could be forgiven and live again, he brought in a higher priesthood., and a higher  law.